Throughout my formative years, I have constantly tried to improve the results of my leadership into generating more value and driving more productive and motivated teams. Having had the opportunity of being responsible for people earlier than most, one of my primary struggles had to do with how to exercise assertiveness over individuals twenty (and even thirty) years my seniors. Whilst the hierarchical structure may help, to a point, the fact is that leadership has very little to do with titles or organisational structures.
And then, I faced a life-changing event: I brought home a small puppy from rescue and realised I was making all the same mistakes raising him as I was doing with managing my teams. Now, I don't mean (under any form or manner) that the exercises are similar (in scope, goals or content). What I do mean is that there was a lot I learnt about Leadership whilst making mistakes in raising my energetic, bright and opinionated fox terrier.
And here's what it was down at:
- Never underestimate your followers: I can never fool my dog. The energy that I transmit when I take him out is directly inherited from me. If I'm calm, he's calm. If I'm jumpy and nervous, he's jumpy and nervous. I understood that, as Leader of the Pack, it was me who I had to change first. I needed to be in a calm and assertive state of mind so Spikey, my dear puppy, acknowledged my leadership and wasn't put on the uncomfortable situation of having to make decisions without the proper level of information - like if he should, or not, chase a car or pee in a tire. It's my posture and attitude that defines the posture of my team and the relationship they have with me, not the position on my business card.
- Establish communication lines and manage expectations: At a blank state, my dog had no idea what I wanted from him. He knew he might like me, I knew I might like him, but it took weeks of effort and constant communication for us to start understanding each other. It took daily feedback, from me to him, asserting what I need from him. And, by understanding that he could communicate back, we started having a relationship where he could show me what he wanted, needed or felt like. When the information didn't come from me, he often took it from the wrong places - he developed an obsession with chewing shoes because he saw it as an acceptable behaviour from fellow dogs. Once we had a healthy level of communication, he understood what I need from him and I understand what he needs from me and we coexist happily.
- Positive reinforcement works: My dog is a Fox Terrier, he's bright, energetic and stubborn by nature. My initial strategy of managing his behaviour through showing him what not to do (very often, after he did it) was failing dramatically. He kept on repeating unacceptable behaviours and I could see he wasn't understanding what he needed from me. Once I change my posture to show him what was the expected behaviour, and praised him for it, he learned and he became much more motivated and relaxed.
- His needs are more important than mine. Always.: Despite the fact that I too have needs, apart from my relationship with Spikey, I have to understand that I have a deep responsibility for him. If I decide, on a Saturday, that I might sleep over a couple of hours more, I'm failing him and he acknowledges that immediately. If I don't have dinner Tuesday, it's OK, but my dog cannot, under any perspective, not have dinner. In a similar fashion, once you have the opportunity of accepting a role where you have responsibility for people you should, before anything else, define your priorities. From the moment you start, your priority is your team, independently of the level of effort you need to conduct to establish that energy level. My relationship with my dog is the same relationship I have with my teams: I am there for them, and they react accordingly.
- Exercise, discipline and fun, in that order: I know that for my dog to be happy I need to provide him with a set of basic conditions. I learnt that the hard way. The first condition is exercise, if he isn't challenged, he doesn't focus. If there is not outlet for all his creative (and destructive, at times) energy, that will build up and he'll lose focus. And I constantly need to come up with new ways of challenging them and monitoring him for his level of motivation and morale. All of that must come on a framework of rules that I defined with him. And I learnt over time that he's happier when we coexist under a set of rules. Fun is, more often than not, my last priority (but not the least important). I always need to find time for us to have fun, it's the only way I know that he'll will get back home satisfied.
As responsible for a set of people, as with my dog, my most relevant lesson was that we're only productive if I manage to provide the right amount of stimulus, challenges, fun while ensuring that all the context of our relationship has a strict set of rules specifically designed to enhance our relationship. And that made all the difference.
It took time to learn, a considerable amount of attempts, lots of practice and lots of errors, both with developing my leadership capabilities and ensuring a happy coexistence with my dog but, ultimately, the experience I got from the jump in the dark that was to take home another life (when I was, very likely, unprepared for that) ultimately allowed me to understand the important of my energy, posture and stance towards whom I'm responsible for.
And, most importantly than anything else, I understood that it's me who has to change to ensure that we are successful.
Source: http://wiseselfimprovement.blogspot.com/2013/02/what-i-learned-on-leadership-from.html
nicki minaj miguel cabrera Karrueche Tran dodd frank Lark Voorhies Jennifer Livingston Orlando Cruz
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